I was talking with my wife today about control. I read somewhere (can’t quite remember where though) that “a person can only truly be happy in life when they feel they are in control.” This spurred a good conversation between us that I thought I would summarize, for this is one of the fundamental principles behind happiness and success.
I find it intriguing how many people blame others for things that happened to them, for things done to them, for bad or hasty decisions they made as a result of someone else’s pressures, for the poor advice they took, blah, blah, blah . . . you get the idea.
This is so weak, and a factor of unhappiness and poverty, and it puts off other people. If you take responsibility for the events and circumstances in your life, you are recognizing just how much of an influence you have on your life, and how powerful you really are.
Accept responsibility for your life and you will soon find yourself feeling in control. If you are in control then you can affect the outcome of your life. Being able to directly affect your own life leads to possibility, to hope, to freedom from the constraints of others, emotional or otherwise. This leads to happiness and success.
Right now you can make a case that the rough, tough or bad things that happened to you in your life was someone else’s doing, and you would be right. Conversely, you could make a case that these same circumstances were not only beneficial in your development but necessary in shaping your life and therefore a blessing. Does this mean you made bad things happen? Of course not.
If you were robbed or abused or struck by a drunk driver, no one would blame you, but what can you do to draw forth your greatest strength but assume control in your life in this moment? You cannot control others, but you can control the effects that people, circumstances and events have on you simply by interpreting them in more constructive ways. Would accepting difficulty in your past, and turning your full focus on the present moment, gain you personal control? Yes. No one can change the past, so why continue to give it power? Would forgiving the people who wronged you or hurt you give you more power? Yes. If you forgive them you no longer need to carry the burden of harboring resentment, hate, ill will. You forgive not for others, but for yourself!
The best way to strip a person of power is to no longer acknowledge their power, or the things they have done to you. Acknowledge your own power, and reduce everyone else’s power in your life to that of an “advisory role.” Just because they say or do things does not mean there is power behind it. They are simply advisors. Which means they can be fired if their advice stinks, or if they are out of control. You fire them by no longer acknowledging them, or by closing them out of your life. This is allowed!
People of power control things through not only their influence, but through their perceptions of people, circumstances and events; people who have no control do not take responsibility for their actions, and therefore they are powerless. According to the quote that inspired this blog, if you feel you do not control your life or your own outcomes, then sustained happiness cannot be achieved. To be happy, you must take responsibility for yourself, for your actions, for the way you interpret life as it unfolds before you. Do this and you are all powerful. From this place of power you are now primed for happiness, and for success!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The Changing Seasons of Wealth
When I hear about how many people are scared about the changing economy, I want to say to them, “Change your strategy!” Unfortunately too many people these days are stuck riding the “desperation roller coaster.” Desperation is what happens when you hope like crazy for the old ways to work and when they fail, you try harder and harder to make them work. This is like trying to beat a dead horse back to life with a stick. This is a poor strategy, the worst strategy.
One truth evident in this world is that the seasons always change. If you want to move into the top circles of wealth, move in harmony with the cycles of life, and with the financial seasons. The rich know all about the financial seasons and they not only prepare for them, they move gracefully within them.
Let’s use the housing market as an example. When the housing bubble was just about to burst, (if you were paying attention you could actually feel it getting ready to go) the savvy investor sold his home because it was about to go from being an asset (money making investment) to a liability (money losing investment). The savvy investor did not look at the home he bought in terms of dropping his roots and paying it down over the next 30 years. The savvy investor fast tracks the process of owning his dream home by looking at every other home as a stepping stool to the big home—the one he will eventually pay cash for. If you could have the nicest home you can imagine in the best location and pay cash for it in a fraction of the time it would take to pay it off making one mortgage payment at a time, wouldn’t you prefer this route instead?
The smart investor uses keen insight, makes intelligent purchases and has impeccable timing. He sees every purchase as an investment. He befriends Real Estate professionals and talks to them about the market and its trends. He taps into multiples sources of accurate information so as to make a calculated decision based on reliable facts. So when the season begins to change and the climate turns, the investor changes direction and puts into place the next phase of his strategy.
The strategy I used was to sell my home (we turned a 400% profit in the sale) and move into a rental home where I could safely ride the market down. Now in my new home, my floor plan and my neighbor’s floor plan is exactly the same, but he pays a $4000 mortgage, property taxes, home owner’s insurance and home owner’s association dues while I pay a flat $1895 per month for the same home! I get all the write-offs I need by owning a business and I pay $2100 less each month to rent the home than own the home. That’s a $25,200 annual savings to live in a house that has fallen from $780,000 to $650,000 in value over the last eighteen months! I save money monthly, and though I live here, I suffer none of the losses because I take my $2100 “profit” each month. As the market here in California falls, and it is falling fast, I sit in a stable position with no risk at all. And when I feel the market has bottomed out I will buy my next house at a steal of a price and ride the market right back up again.
The rich know that buying a money making asset is smart, and holding desperately to a liability as it falls in value is a poor decision. Timing is everything. A wise investor pays attention to the seasons, knowing and eventually feeling, when shifts will occur. To others their timing is a skill many people marvel over, but timing is a developed skill. The skilled investor does what everyone else will not, cannot, or does not do. They do this knowing that “keeping up with the Jones’s” is not a cute pastime but the path to financial insecurity, and in many cases, financial suicide. A smart investor only invites advice from industry experts, not their friends or co-workers or Aunt Judy.
The same lessons can be applied to a job or a business. If you do not move with the seasons you may be out of work, working for less than you are worth, or bankrupt. Maybe you’ll survive a little bruised and battered, but the lesson is still a salty one to swallow. Continuing with the real estate market as our example, let us look at real estate as a business. If the real estate market is tanking and you’ve made your living as an agent/broker/refi-specialist, don’t you think it might be time to take a hard look at your business as it relates to the changing economy? When sub-prime lending is being investigated, when banks are tightening their lending belts, when housing inventory is at record-high levels, when the news is talking day and night about the housing crisis, and when there is a credit crunch in full effect, maybe it’s time to diversify your business, or switch occupations all together.
Rather than sit back and baste in your fears, your failures or your complaints, ask yourself, “How can I serve the most people possible where they need to be served right now? How can I make money in this changing economy utilizing my current skills? How can I work in harmony with the trends rather than against them?”
I encourage you, for the sake of your own financial strength, to look at the recent decisions you have made openly and honestly. Could you have made better choices with your money? Can you resolve these issues right now? And if so how? Make a plan, put it on paper, act on it right away. Ask yourself if your occupation is in jeopardy? If so what can you do to make yourself more valuable in your current company or business, or in another field of work. Can you start a side business that brings in a few extra hundred or thousand dollars a month? I left my last job four years ago when my “side” occupation became worth twice that of my main occupation. I now pay less taxes as a business owner than I did as an employee. I work less than half the time as well. You never know where creativity, a good plan and inspired action will take you, so take action now for in action is where you will find the seeds that will guarantee your financial success.
One truth evident in this world is that the seasons always change. If you want to move into the top circles of wealth, move in harmony with the cycles of life, and with the financial seasons. The rich know all about the financial seasons and they not only prepare for them, they move gracefully within them.
Let’s use the housing market as an example. When the housing bubble was just about to burst, (if you were paying attention you could actually feel it getting ready to go) the savvy investor sold his home because it was about to go from being an asset (money making investment) to a liability (money losing investment). The savvy investor did not look at the home he bought in terms of dropping his roots and paying it down over the next 30 years. The savvy investor fast tracks the process of owning his dream home by looking at every other home as a stepping stool to the big home—the one he will eventually pay cash for. If you could have the nicest home you can imagine in the best location and pay cash for it in a fraction of the time it would take to pay it off making one mortgage payment at a time, wouldn’t you prefer this route instead?
The smart investor uses keen insight, makes intelligent purchases and has impeccable timing. He sees every purchase as an investment. He befriends Real Estate professionals and talks to them about the market and its trends. He taps into multiples sources of accurate information so as to make a calculated decision based on reliable facts. So when the season begins to change and the climate turns, the investor changes direction and puts into place the next phase of his strategy.
The strategy I used was to sell my home (we turned a 400% profit in the sale) and move into a rental home where I could safely ride the market down. Now in my new home, my floor plan and my neighbor’s floor plan is exactly the same, but he pays a $4000 mortgage, property taxes, home owner’s insurance and home owner’s association dues while I pay a flat $1895 per month for the same home! I get all the write-offs I need by owning a business and I pay $2100 less each month to rent the home than own the home. That’s a $25,200 annual savings to live in a house that has fallen from $780,000 to $650,000 in value over the last eighteen months! I save money monthly, and though I live here, I suffer none of the losses because I take my $2100 “profit” each month. As the market here in California falls, and it is falling fast, I sit in a stable position with no risk at all. And when I feel the market has bottomed out I will buy my next house at a steal of a price and ride the market right back up again.
The rich know that buying a money making asset is smart, and holding desperately to a liability as it falls in value is a poor decision. Timing is everything. A wise investor pays attention to the seasons, knowing and eventually feeling, when shifts will occur. To others their timing is a skill many people marvel over, but timing is a developed skill. The skilled investor does what everyone else will not, cannot, or does not do. They do this knowing that “keeping up with the Jones’s” is not a cute pastime but the path to financial insecurity, and in many cases, financial suicide. A smart investor only invites advice from industry experts, not their friends or co-workers or Aunt Judy.
The same lessons can be applied to a job or a business. If you do not move with the seasons you may be out of work, working for less than you are worth, or bankrupt. Maybe you’ll survive a little bruised and battered, but the lesson is still a salty one to swallow. Continuing with the real estate market as our example, let us look at real estate as a business. If the real estate market is tanking and you’ve made your living as an agent/broker/refi-specialist, don’t you think it might be time to take a hard look at your business as it relates to the changing economy? When sub-prime lending is being investigated, when banks are tightening their lending belts, when housing inventory is at record-high levels, when the news is talking day and night about the housing crisis, and when there is a credit crunch in full effect, maybe it’s time to diversify your business, or switch occupations all together.
Rather than sit back and baste in your fears, your failures or your complaints, ask yourself, “How can I serve the most people possible where they need to be served right now? How can I make money in this changing economy utilizing my current skills? How can I work in harmony with the trends rather than against them?”
I encourage you, for the sake of your own financial strength, to look at the recent decisions you have made openly and honestly. Could you have made better choices with your money? Can you resolve these issues right now? And if so how? Make a plan, put it on paper, act on it right away. Ask yourself if your occupation is in jeopardy? If so what can you do to make yourself more valuable in your current company or business, or in another field of work. Can you start a side business that brings in a few extra hundred or thousand dollars a month? I left my last job four years ago when my “side” occupation became worth twice that of my main occupation. I now pay less taxes as a business owner than I did as an employee. I work less than half the time as well. You never know where creativity, a good plan and inspired action will take you, so take action now for in action is where you will find the seeds that will guarantee your financial success.
Monday, March 3, 2008
You Are the Pilot!
I was talking to a friend this morning and she was saying how much she would like to change careers. She has a great job, but her dream occupation won’t cover her bills right away. Is this a conundrum many of us face? Absolutely!
When I offered up a few alternative suggestions as to how she could do what she wanted and make money, she simply informed me of her game plan in a statement: When I get married and my husband can lend financial support, I will do what I really want to do.
The question rolling around in the back of my mind is: Why can’t you do it now? Of course, it is easy to make tons of suggestions when you’re on the outside, and this kept me from gently nudging her toward coming up with a few ideas of her own. But the fundamental thought still rests on my mind right now:
You simply cannot be successful, or even happy, if you continue to put off what you have in your power to do right now while waiting for someone else to come and do it for you. Being rescued is something you must do for yourself!
When she said “I can’t do it now,” I realize she has said this often and this is not simply a casual statement but a belief, and therefore her reality. (See my article titled: Shifting Perspective: The Power of Autosuggestion in the Article Archives of www.betterwaysinlife.com). How many times do we limit ourselves waiting for someone else to do something for us, make us feel a certain way, free us from our own constraints?
There is something empowering in taking charge of your life. When you decide you can do things you would have otherwise thought were impossible, you learn so much along the way that you will naturally grow smarter and more resourceful. You will find new ideas and master processes, and you will meet new people who will willingly lend you their support simply because your dedication inspires them!
Henry Ford did not build his own cars, he had a fleet of people building them for him, helping him succeed. When everyone on the planet said, "You cannot build a V8 engine!" he got the right people in the right place and put them on this “impossible” endeavor! Within 18 months his staff had built a working V8 and was readying it for production. Now we have 12 cylinder engines, and more. We can fly to the moon, to Mars, to beyond Neptune and Pluto. We have computers in our cars, voice activated navigation systems, the internet on our cell phones!
The impossible has been done hundreds of thousands of times by men and women who did not shy away from their dreams. They took it upon themselves to go after the impossible with all their heart and the determination to either succeed or die, whichever came first.
So I say you can do it yourself! For more than a decade I have said and deeply believe you have everything inside of you to be happy, to be resourceful, to be successful. You can do anything you want to do in your life and you should start now. People will enter your world and support you along this journey toward happiness and success, but you are the pilot of your own life. You are in control. So take charge of your life right now, today.
What is something that is difficult or scary or downright impossible for you to do right now that would vastly improve your life if you did it? Begin thinking of this with the notion that it is not only possible, but probable. Begin every challenge by asking yourself “How will I accomplish this?” When you start to think about the dreaded “I can’t,” replace this thought with “I can and I will!” Say it and think it with authority! Do this now, and when you’ve achieved your success, please honor me with your story. You can send me your stories simply by returning to the Home page of website and click on the SHARE YOUR TESTIMONIALS bar.
I love your stories, so keep them coming! And if you enjoyed this blog post, please post a comment and/or send a friend, family member or co-worker here. You never know who's life you're going to change!
When I offered up a few alternative suggestions as to how she could do what she wanted and make money, she simply informed me of her game plan in a statement: When I get married and my husband can lend financial support, I will do what I really want to do.
The question rolling around in the back of my mind is: Why can’t you do it now? Of course, it is easy to make tons of suggestions when you’re on the outside, and this kept me from gently nudging her toward coming up with a few ideas of her own. But the fundamental thought still rests on my mind right now:
You simply cannot be successful, or even happy, if you continue to put off what you have in your power to do right now while waiting for someone else to come and do it for you. Being rescued is something you must do for yourself!
When she said “I can’t do it now,” I realize she has said this often and this is not simply a casual statement but a belief, and therefore her reality. (See my article titled: Shifting Perspective: The Power of Autosuggestion in the Article Archives of www.betterwaysinlife.com). How many times do we limit ourselves waiting for someone else to do something for us, make us feel a certain way, free us from our own constraints?
There is something empowering in taking charge of your life. When you decide you can do things you would have otherwise thought were impossible, you learn so much along the way that you will naturally grow smarter and more resourceful. You will find new ideas and master processes, and you will meet new people who will willingly lend you their support simply because your dedication inspires them!
Henry Ford did not build his own cars, he had a fleet of people building them for him, helping him succeed. When everyone on the planet said, "You cannot build a V8 engine!" he got the right people in the right place and put them on this “impossible” endeavor! Within 18 months his staff had built a working V8 and was readying it for production. Now we have 12 cylinder engines, and more. We can fly to the moon, to Mars, to beyond Neptune and Pluto. We have computers in our cars, voice activated navigation systems, the internet on our cell phones!
The impossible has been done hundreds of thousands of times by men and women who did not shy away from their dreams. They took it upon themselves to go after the impossible with all their heart and the determination to either succeed or die, whichever came first.
So I say you can do it yourself! For more than a decade I have said and deeply believe you have everything inside of you to be happy, to be resourceful, to be successful. You can do anything you want to do in your life and you should start now. People will enter your world and support you along this journey toward happiness and success, but you are the pilot of your own life. You are in control. So take charge of your life right now, today.
What is something that is difficult or scary or downright impossible for you to do right now that would vastly improve your life if you did it? Begin thinking of this with the notion that it is not only possible, but probable. Begin every challenge by asking yourself “How will I accomplish this?” When you start to think about the dreaded “I can’t,” replace this thought with “I can and I will!” Say it and think it with authority! Do this now, and when you’ve achieved your success, please honor me with your story. You can send me your stories simply by returning to the Home page of website and click on the SHARE YOUR TESTIMONIALS bar.
I love your stories, so keep them coming! And if you enjoyed this blog post, please post a comment and/or send a friend, family member or co-worker here. You never know who's life you're going to change!
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