The Way to Power . . .

I was talking with my wife today about control. I read somewhere (can’t quite remember where though) that “a person can only truly be happy in life when they feel they are in control.” This spurred a good conversation between us that I thought I would summarize, for this is one of the fundamental principles behind happiness and success.

I find it intriguing how many people blame others for things that happened to them, for things done to them, for bad or hasty decisions they made as a result of someone else’s pressures, for the poor advice they took, blah, blah, blah . . . you get the idea.

This is so weak, and a factor of unhappiness and poverty, and it puts off other people. If you take responsibility for the events and circumstances in your life, you are recognizing just how much of an influence you have on your life, and how powerful you really are.

Accept responsibility for your life and you will soon find yourself feeling in control. If you are in control then you can affect the outcome of your life. Being able to directly affect your own life leads to possibility, to hope, to freedom from the constraints of others, emotional or otherwise. This leads to happiness and success.

Right now you can make a case that the rough, tough or bad things that happened to you in your life was someone else’s doing, and you would be right. Conversely, you could make a case that these same circumstances were not only beneficial in your development but necessary in shaping your life and therefore a blessing. Does this mean you made bad things happen? Of course not.

If you were robbed or abused or struck by a drunk driver, no one would blame you, but what can you do to draw forth your greatest strength but assume control in your life in this moment? You cannot control others, but you can control the effects that people, circumstances and events have on you simply by interpreting them in more constructive ways. Would accepting difficulty in your past, and turning your full focus on the present moment, gain you personal control? Yes. No one can change the past, so why continue to give it power? Would forgiving the people who wronged you or hurt you give you more power? Yes. If you forgive them you no longer need to carry the burden of harboring resentment, hate, ill will. You forgive not for others, but for yourself!

The best way to strip a person of power is to no longer acknowledge their power, or the things they have done to you. Acknowledge your own power, and reduce everyone else’s power in your life to that of an “advisory role.” Just because they say or do things does not mean there is power behind it. They are simply advisors. Which means they can be fired if their advice stinks, or if they are out of control. You fire them by no longer acknowledging them, or by closing them out of your life. This is allowed!

People of power control things through not only their influence, but through their perceptions of people, circumstances and events; people who have no control do not take responsibility for their actions, and therefore they are powerless. According to the quote that inspired this blog, if you feel you do not control your life or your own outcomes, then sustained happiness cannot be achieved. To be happy, you must take responsibility for yourself, for your actions, for the way you interpret life as it unfolds before you. Do this and you are all powerful. From this place of power you are now primed for happiness, and for success!